Subduing the Saboteur ~ REBOUND!

It’s been way over a month since I blogged. It's all been an exhausting blur. During this time we moved my Mother to an independent living apartment, my sister bought my parents’ house, and moved in and I moved to her house until the spring. Then I get to turn around and do it all over again! This time, back to the Southwest, unless something really spectacular shows itself in Indy.

Since all this started, I have worked hard to create endeavors that will sustain me here until I decide to move back to the Southwest. While some really cool opportunities have shown up, most have quickly stopped their forward motion. I have had a huge challenge getting a foothold here to propel me and my endeavors forward.

After moving into my sister’s house a week ago, I went into somewhat of a funk, not really clear on what was going. Only angry and frustrated that things still weren’t working. I needed to generate income and everything had come to a screeching, grinding halt!

I really have to laugh at all this now. I have this Inner Saboteur that is pretty powerful and sneaky. It looks and acts (and probably smells) like the Golgotha (shit monster) in the movie Dogma. It’s also really, really good at masquerading as other, more helpful, parts of me. And sometimes, I just am not that good at discernment.

After some soul searching, several droppers of St. John’s Wort, toning in the shower, meditation, hot baths, dancing around the house with my dog, and the other usual remedies I use, I realized a couple of things.

Back in late 2008, not too long after I arrived in Indy and before my Father became ill, I was going like gangbusters to start a number of things. But nothing was working. One of my friends in Colorado, a very gifted intuitive, told me I needed to pull my energy from Colorado to Indiana and GROUND HERE – no matter how hard that was to do. No matter how much I disliked it here, no matter how unhappy I was with my situation. Well, I didn’t… I was really upset at my situation. I listened to my Inner Saboteur and decided that I really didn’t need to do this.

The other thing I realized was that, as I was thinking about starting my business here, I refused to actually do it! I didn’t want to be HERE, so why would I want to start a business HERE? Talk about shooting myself in the foot!

Like I said, I really have to laugh at all of this – well, sort of. So now? I survey the damage. I get a mindset change, go back to the drawing board, redo my I AM’s, get back on track.

See you on the other side of this – better than ever!